Stranger In My Eyes

There’s a stranger in my eyes
She’s taking over my thoughts
She’s taking over my life
I struggle and fight, sometimes I win, sometimes I see me
Sometimes she wins for weeks on end
This stranger doesn’t like people
She doesn’t like happiness, or kindness, or love
She despises it
It makes her feel weak, she needs to be punished
This stranger has no remorse, or pity, or compassion
She despises it
It makes her feel human, she needs to be punished
Sometimes when she wins I let her take over
Sometimes the struggle is too much
When she takes over I am distant
But if you’re distant…you’re untouchable
She’s taking over my thoughts
She’s taking over my life
This stranger in my eyes…I wonder will she become me?

* This poem describes the struggle between who i was and who i have become. When i look in my eyes i no longer see the person i was, but a new person...one that is cold, distant and horribly angry. I'm terrified that this is who I am going to become all the time, I don't want to be like this...but maybe it's inevitable after what has happened?