The Moment She Cried

I've been dealing with a lot of flashbacks recently, I'm not sure if it is because of the counselling im attending weekly or if it's because of the crime shows I watch nightly...probably a bit of both. I would like to make a clear definition of a flashback... there is remembering and then there are flashbacks. Remembering is a controlled reminiscing of the assault..I can sit here and remember detail by detail the events. In contrast flashbacks occur very suddenly, are very powerful in nature and can include physical sensations...touch, hearing, smell etc. When I get flashbacks I feel...i feel everything all over again. My throat tightens, my body curls in repulse, my heartbeat is elevated, and I become extremely fearful all over again...rational or not this is what happens. It begins with a trigger... a smell, a word, a shirt being too tight around my throat, a vivid scene on a movie... and it ends with me huddled in a corner traumatized and terrified all over. I recently mentioned this to my counsellor (the only one I have connected with and actually UNDERSTANDS..she's nothing short of amazing!) and she developed a method to calm myself during these flashbacks.
She asked me to remember the assault...and then she asked me to remember the first time i felt safe after the assault. The first time I knew I was no longer in danger and it was over. This time for me was at my friend's house, when Amanda came downstairs and hugged me...I knew I was safe when I could cry. The moment that first tear ran down my cheek when Amanda was sitting at my side. I knew I was safe, I knew it would be ok, I knew it was over. This image of that sole tear running down my cheek is one I will cherish forever, the one that is going to pull me out of that dark ominous hole when I lay tarnished at night.
I urge those that have been through this to discover their moment...that moment they knew they would be ok. Find the moment that you cried.