One thousand and sixty five days. one thousand and sixty five days since i was murdered in the middle of the night, murdered but not killed... but yet somehow, in some little dark part of my mind, it tells me that it was the easiest part. 12 minutes and it was over, but so easily described as just the beginning... the worst part of my ordeal was not the act itself, wasn't the medication, wasn't even when i was put in a safe house for a few nights...nah the worst part is acceptance. I have accepted this fact, it happened, yes i could have been more careful but how could i have possibly known there was a predator lurking nearby...i couldn't have. simple as that. to those of you that believe that a girls appearance, attire, alcohol consumption, their attitude or anything plays a factor in this situation then explain this...why is it so many girls from all different backgrounds, situations and personalities are assaulted? The hardest part of this has been acceptance from other people...it happened, I realize that it is an ugly topic for many people, but i am a survivor, and if i need to talk about my experience to make me feel better, to make me feel like some good can come from it god damn it i will. for those that don't want to hear it, snap back to reality...it does happen, whether you admit it or not. if you want to judge me thats fine too, but know this...by judging me you judge every other female this has ever happened to. If you have been through it you should understand where im coming from...and to those that havent gone through it... you cant possibly understand thus your opinion is irrelevant. I was raped, and theres not a damn thing i can change...blame it on the way i was dressed, blame it on my flirtatious attitude, blame it on alcohol, blame it on whatever you want...but when it comes down to it... im blaming it on the sick fuckers that did it. so judge away...got something to sa, say it to my face...but you better be prepared for a good slug, for me and for every other girl.
© Kristin Bennett 2009
September 21st 2009.
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This is my way to deal with the pain, brought on by rape, hopefully this will help others who have been through this as well. There are many sites about rape...but few about how people personally deal with it. This is my story...from start to now.
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